Dear Miami Dolphins management,

     Let's be honest. This season is already screwed. Chad Johnson got arrested, David Garrard is out for the year, our offensive line couldn't stop a 5 year old girl, we're starting a rookie quarterback, our defense sucks, and hard knocks was just a bad idea. Since we all know that playoffs are out of the question, can we please lose enough games to get the no. 1 pick in the draft. We always suck just enough to miss the playoffs, and get a shitty draft pick. We could have had Andrew Luck or RG3 last year, but no, we won the most meaningless games of the season.

    This year, we have a legitimate shot to be the worst team in dolphins history. I doubt that there will be more than 3 games won the whole season. So, why not lose on purpose? I mean, by the looks of last season, I think you were already doing it pretty well. Celebrity owners and rich management clearly have no idea how to run a football franchise. The last decent quarterback we had was Dan Marino. Suck it up this season, so we can get a real quarterback, and possibly be relevant in the NFL again.